Draw A Map, That's All Canada!
by Insanity under the moonlight
Summary: When Canada has to take the time to show his brother how to read a world map the nations soon realize just how similar they are. Not everyone is amused. Based off of the tumblr post.


Canada sighed once again. "No Alfred, that's Germany."

They've gone over this so many times.

"But I thought that was Germany." America said confusedly as he pointed at China.

"No, that's not even in Europe. Let's try again. Something easier. Where's England again?" Canada asked tiredly.

"Uuuh, here?" He said hesitantly as he pointed at Japan.

"He's called the black sheep of _Europe_! Not Asia! That's Japan!" Canada yelled as he threw his arms up in exasperation.

"Hey! At least it was an island this time!" America yelled back indignantly.

"How could you mix up England and Russia!?"

"The old man is always prattling on about how big an empire he used to be, I just figured he had more grass leftover than that tiny little deserted island." America huffed embarrassedly.

Canada knew it wasn't that his brother was stupid. He was just too conceded and egotistical to bother learning the basic geography of other countries and actually try to remember the information.

Why did they leave him with this task?

Taking a deep, supposed to be calming breath, Canada decided to try again. "Okay! Let's do an easy one. What country is this?"

"America! Home of the free! Obviously!" He said confidently, puffing out his chest in pride.

"Good!" Canada said happily before moving his finger further up north. "Now what county is this?"

America was starting to sweat again.

"Uuuh…my fifty-first state? Yeah, one of my states, how did I forget that!" America said feeling much more relieved, now he just had to figure out why it was disproportionately bigger than the rest…he would have to talk to Obama about that…

"No! That's Canada! Me, you asshole! Besides, if anything you're South Canada!" He screamed at his brother. He even would have accepted something like 'That hockey place'.

"What! Not even!" America shouted back in disbelief.

"Yep!" and to emphasize Canada popped the lid off of the permanent marker he was using as a pointer and wrote on the unlabelled map 'South Canada' in bold, black, capitalized letters over America.

Wearing a challenging smirk, America asked "Then what about South America?"

Canada took a momentary pause to think before writing in the same font 'South South Canada'. America stared at his awfully smug brother in befuddlement.

Challenge accepted.

"Okay smart ass what about Alaska?" He asked feeling just as smug.

Without even hesitating this time Canada wrote 'Canada a bit to the left'. No matter how hard he tried America couldn't stop the smile from spreading on his face.

"Now do Europe!"

Rather than spend the time labeling each country (pretending their space on the map was big enough to legibly write in) he wrote over the whole European continent 'More Canada'.

"Asia!" He demanded between his amused chuckles.

"You mean East Canada?" He asked as he wrote it down.

"What about Africa?" Alfred asked curiously.

"…Other Canada." He decided after looking over the map, and promptly recorded that.

"What's that last place?" America asked curiously as he pointed a lone country.

"Australia." Canada responded automatically.

"Australia? But I could have sworn that was where…" America trailed off waiting for his brother to rename the country. He felt like he wouldn't be disappointed judging by the wicked smirk that appeared on the Canadian personification's face.

"Oh, you're right my bad. That's 'Down Under Canada'."

"_Down Under-_" America started in disbelief before he broke down into a full fit of laughter, "Oh my god! People need to see this glorious map!"

"Wha- No, no, no! People could get seriously offended by this!" Canada said fearfully, the last thing he wanted was his first memorable impression on the other nations to be that he was as narcissistic as his brother.

"It's fiiine, my maps look like this and no one complains." America said encouragingly and even gave Canada a hearty slap on the back.

"They do, you just ignore them. That's what started this whole lesson!"

"Details, details. They aren't _seriously_ offended anyways. Annoyed yes, but not hurt." America reasoned.

"How about we just keep this as an inside joke."

"Fine, fine…can we at least tell 'Down Under Canada'? He can take a joke!"


End file.
